Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×15

This week our girl Amy anticipates moving onto big things, so Jake plans the perfect case for her that gets hijacked by Melissa Furemo’s real-life husband (David Fumero).

Amy’s IRL husband

Amy has passed her Sergeant exam and to celebrate/ commemorate their last case together as detectives Jake presents her with the perfect case; a serial arsonist who leaves crosswords behind as clues. He calls in her celebrity crush, crossword writer Melvin Sternly (OF COURSE that’s her crush) to help them get a more in-depth look at what the clues might mean.

Charles tries to warn Jake about the perils of introducing his fiance to her celebrity crush, but Jake isn’t worried because he thinks Melvin is going to be some giant dorky loser. Turns out, all of Melvin’s muscles are strong (including his brain) because he’s super smart and super hot.  

Much to Jake’s dismay, Amy and Melvin really hit it off. Charles tries to call him out for being jealous but Jake rejects the idea, calling jealousy an ugly emotion.

Jake, Amy, and Melvin go to a puzzle bar (which is either lame or amazing) to see if they can find any of Melvin’s enemies or any chatter hinting at an adversary. In the bathroom, Jake overhears two puzzlers talking about Sam Jepsen a puzzle writer who was demoted allegedly because of Melvin. Melvin provides an alibi for Sam, who happens to be his friend.

Melvin suggests they stakeout certain street corners based on some puzzle logic mumbo jumbo (tbh he explained it but it was boring) while Jake thinks it’d be better to address the case like a cop and go after the only suspect with a motive (Sam). Since it is “Amy’s” case Jake asks her to decide between the two plans.

She chooses Melvin’s because this is his world and they need to think like him, thus fueling Jake’s jealous even further. Jake is determined to do things his way, however so while stationed at one of the street corners, Jake sends Charles to tail Sam. Later, Jake goes to check on Charles and Sam and they realize Sam is innocent, Jake heads back to his post where (to no one’s surprise) the abandoned warehouse he was supposed to be watching is on fire.

Back at the precinct, Amy is pissed (rightfully so). Jake gives the typical I’m jealous because of my insecurities speech and just as typically, Amy forgives him. Using his police skills Jake realizes that the arsonist is trying to spell out marry me, and they discover she is one of Melvin’s obsessed fans.  

Captain Holt’s Frenemy

Gina has appointed herself Captain Holt’s Campaign Manager for his Commissioner race, and her first order of business is to inform him that all of his competition is old, white, and male which in all honesty is a pep talk because Captain Holt is the most dynamic contender. Later, at the lunch in, Gina and Captain Holt (the two shadiest people at the 99) discover that there is another person running for commissioner, and SHE is younger and full of dynamic ideas.

Feeling threatened Captain Holt talks to the head of the selection committee about Captain Crawford, but he tells Captain Holt not to worry.  Apparently, they only nominated her to fulfill a diversity quota, but they have no intention of appointing her.

When it’s time to give his presentation Captain Holt calls out the selection committee for their sexism and declares that he won’t be running unless there is a selection committee that will be fair and just.

Captain Crawford stops by the 99 later to thank Captain Holt for standing up for her, and to let him know the selection committee has been replaced so he better bring it.


Right before watching this episode I saw a Tumblr post with images of jealous Jake from past episodes, and it’s a lot more internalized. His slight irrationality here dramatized which is interesting considering the differences in their relationship. I appreciate that they acknowledge the dumb guy – smart girlfriend troupe, but the fact that the storyline was included anyway is annoying.

Jake undermining Amy’s authority because he felt insecure didn’t sit right with me, maybe because it hit too close to home? Or perhaps because she forgave him too quickly? I really can’t place it, but in a workplace setting it’s a frustrating thing to deal with as a woman and instead of acknowledging that and the dangers associated with it, the show centers on Jake’s feelings.

Captain Holt’s storyline was the opposite of Jake’s in terms of his reaction to similar circumstances. Despite this Captain Crawford being his competition, he openly called out the blatant sexism working against her and refuses to participate until changes are made.

He basically required an inclusion rider for the NYPD.

Captain Holt’s storyline really saved this episode for me; while Jake is hindering Amy from doing her job because he’s insecure, Captain Holt is putting his career advancement on the line for a woman he barely knows.

I feel like Gina and Captain Holt spend their downtime shading people in the precinct and if not, they should.

I’ve come to the conclusion Jake and Amy might have a sub-dom kink? Based on her bending his arm back and him telling her to “do it harder”. I’m here for it.

Captain Holt is a bean stan

John Kelly TRULY is a cop name


“And I was actually abandoned, they found me in a swamp”
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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×14

This week’s kind of bottle episode stars America’s boyfriend Sterling K Brown.

3 Oh Damns

We start the episode with Sterling K Brown santering in, he’s then greeted by Gina who informs him the rudest way possible that he’s been called in for questioning. Captain Holt stops by on his way to the opera to see what’s going on and finds out Jake is interrogating someone. He laments about how much he misses being apart of interrogations since becoming captain and asks Jake if he can join in.  

As the interrogation beings, it’s clear that it’s unraveling so Captain Holt chimes in, changing the dynamic of his good cop/bad cop routine with Jake. They become dumb cop/smart cop with the hopes that he’ll confess to Jake. Despite all of this, the dentist keeps his cool.

When Captain Holt steps out Jake gets the dentist to admit he knew where the body was even though that was classified knowledge. However, he quickly absolves himself by claiming that the victim’s wife told him. When they find out that the dentist has access to a cabin not far from the crime scene, Jake suggests lying about having a witness who’d place him at the cabin. Captain Holt rebuffs the idea because if they get caught lying, though it is not illegal, it will damage their credibility.

Instead, Jake and Captain Holt try everything they can think of including making him say the victim’s name numerous times, bringing back the guitar and screaming bit, and throwing a chair at the two-way glass (which ricochets and hits Jake in the face). Throughout their attempts, Captain Holt and Jake start to lose their cool, which the dentist uses to his advantage. He questions Captain Holt’s faith in Jake, which Jake has secretly been questioning the entire episode.

It becomes clear that the two are at their wit’s end, and though Jake’s earlier suggestion of lying is looming over them, Captain Holt still dismisses it. Jake’s ego or desperation gets the best of him and he lies to the Dentist about having a witness. The dentist calls in his lawyer and puts them in an even more difficult place.

Captain Holt calls Jake out for not listening but Jake realizes something in the evidence photos and goes in to confront the Dentist again. He manages to break his cool by calling him an amateur and the dentist arrogantly confesses.

Later, Jake admits that he wanted to impress Captain Holt, and while I try not to cry, the two laugh about the fact that they’ve been interrogating their perp all night.


The structure of this episode was so different from what I’m used to it felt like a series of vignettes or a play, I enjoyed it, but didn’t realize how much I missed the subplots until I finished recapping. Which is funny, because during last week’s recap I complained about how the two subplots didn’t feel worth recapping.  

I don’t watch This is Us because my life is sad enough. But give Sterling K Brown more roles? All the roles? Halfway through I wanted them to not be able to convict him so that he can be a recurring character, maybe a serial killer? He had so much charm, and his calm demeanor was not only really hot but heinous, to the point where I questioned whether or not he really committed murder.

I’m assuming Captain Holt was put out about the Ph.D. comment because of Kevin.


“Is it the one Bugs Bunny sings?” Beat “Yes”

“I’m Gomez your Martica, I’m so happy when I’m with ya” (this is still making me laugh)
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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5X13

Doug Judy is back! I am both excited and annoyed by this week’s Brooklyn 99 episode, let’s get into it so I can tell you why.

Saving Mama Judy

Jake gets called in to be a negotiator in a hostage situation and he is over the moon about it. He and Rosa head down to the crime site where there is already a professional negotiator, Denis present (portrayed by Chris Bauer). Denis is pissed because much like Jake he’s been waiting for his entire career to deal with a hostage situation and Jake just hijacked it.

When Jake gets inside he finds out the perpetrator is Doug Judy. He confesses that his “hostages” are fake and that he paid them off to be there so he could get Jake’s help. Jake is too busy being disappointed because he thought Doug Judy had gone straight.  

Because your past always comes back to haunt you, Doug Judy finds himself in the hands of a drug lord named Halloway who NYPD has been after for years. He has threatened to kill Doug Judy’s mother if he doesn’t steal some diamonds from a jewelry store.  

Jake tries to explain all of this to Denis but he isn’t having it. Jake goes back inside and he and Doug Judy come up with a plan to make Jake a hostage as well so Rosa can help them by also “negotiating”. Together, they devise a plan that includes Scully, food, and lettuce in your pockets, which allows the “hostages” to be released and for Doug Judy to escape.

Doug Judy and Jake meet with Halloway, but just as Jake is about to confront him, Denis finds them and tries to stop Doug Judy. Halloway tries to make a run for it but Jake stops him. Unfortunately, Doug Judy has escaped with the diamonds because you can’t teach a scorpion new tricks.

Later, Jake gets mail from a karaoke bar that Doug Judy frequents. Where he gets there, he finds a Le Creuset pot and the diamonds.   


So let me just start off by stating that I am rooting for Craig Robinson. As the token black guy in the Judd Apatow-esque comedic universe, I’m genuinely concerned with how he’s doing. That being said, the Doug Judy story needs to end. I love Jake and Doug Judy’s friendship. It has a purity to it that comes with most of Jake’s relationships, but him tricking Jake and getting away with crimes for five straight seasons is repetitive.

Jake is a great detective, this is shown and told to us A LOT. So for me to believe that he doesn’t have the discernment to realize Doug Judy is going to trick him is ridiculous. I feel like it might be time to shelf this joke? Or at the very least turn it on its head.

Chris Bauer (Denis) was my favorite part of the episode his curmudgeonly attitude was a fun contrast to the somewhat happy go lucky mood of the episode.

I don’t have that much to say about the subplots, the Captain Holt, Hitchcock and Terry storyline was funny but felt like a throw-away. And I didn’t like Charles being a jerk to Amy and Gina even though it WAS on brand with the fact that every head chef I’ve ever met is a dick.

Pretty sure Amy made Jake watch The Scorpion Tale


“That’s all negotiating is. Two liars lying to each other until one stand too close to the window and gets shot in the head”

“Are you negotiating right now?”  “ALWAYS”

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×12

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is BACK! It feels like 1,000 moons have passed since we last saw this show. Black Panther happened, President Circus Peanut has done a lot of dumb shit, I had a birthday, and Beyoncé season is upon us. But seriously the last episode aired in December! It’s been awhile and I’m excited.

We need to talk about Kevin

Last time we left off, Seamus Murphy threatened to kill Kevin after Captain Holt and Jake thwarted his plans. At the top of the episode Kevin is teaching a class (?) or leading a museum tour — honestly, I’m not sure. What is Kevin’s job, again? Anyway, he’s at work when he is bombarded by Jake in disguise. Through a series of hijinks, Kevin is transported to a van where he meets his husband.

At the precinct, Terry gives the team a rundown on next steps for Kevin. They’ve made their own safe house for him since Seamus Murphy and his men managed to kill two people in protective custody. The team is about to schedule safe house shifts for the next two months when Jake volunteers to be on watch the whole time.

He feels guilty that he inadvertently is the reason that Kevin is in this position. Holt has set safety precautions throughout the house that are so extreme they have to crawl on the floor to get throughout most of the house due to fear of them being shot.

While they are in seclusion, Kevin and Jake slowly go insane as they have nothing in common, and the only source of entertainment they have is Jake’s large collection of Nicholas Cage movies. After a couple of weeks, Raymond stops by and lets them know that a contact of his at organized crime says that they know where Seamus is and they’re going to bust him. They have a raid watching party at the safe house (not quite sure how that’s a good idea?) but it’s a flop, Seamus isn’t there. Holt’s restrictions get more intense, which bring Kevin and Jake to the brink of madness.

Kevin asks Raymond if it’d be possible for him to visit the library with supervision. He shuts that option down immediately which cause a huge fight between the two of them. Jake decides to go anyway, and of course, they get caught by Holt, causing an even bigger fight. They all heading back to the safe house on the bus when Captain Holt realizes they’re being followed. He tells Jake and Kevin to make a run for it, but he gets caught instead.

Amy, Scully, and Terry help Jake and Kevin find where Seamus is keeping Holt, but Jake won’t let Kevin help because he’s a civilian. One of Seamus’s men finds Jake hiding out and he gets tied up with the Captain. Just when it looks like they’re going to eat it, Kevin crashes through the abandoned warehouse with a car and saves them.

Blonde Rosa

After the raid turns out to be a bust, the 99 reconfigures to decide what to do next. Seamus Murphy’s girlfriend works at a salon so they send Rosa there undercover to see if she can get her to talk.

As someone who used to work in a salon, I’ve deduced that Rosa essentially spent all day in that chair, because she dyes her hair blond AND gets a perm.

With Gina’s help, Rosa is able to give life to her cover persona Gabriana who is a messy, gossiping, disaster. Eventually, Seamus’s mistress/girlfriend admits to Rosa that he is in a warehouse in Rochester, and leaves the salon looking like the blonde Nanny (as in Fran Fine).


I really missed this show, to the point that I forgot how funny it was. Andre Braugher was the star of this episode, his dry humor was particularly dark, which made him hysterical. It was also great to see more of Kevin. Marc Evan Jackson really sells the role and he and Andy Samberg play well of each other.

I was a little concerned about Jake’s declaration that it’s his fault that Captain Holt and Kevin are in this situation because it came across as if it were his fault only. It was as if the writers forgot or chose to omit the fact that Captain Holt’s sacrifice wasn’t just for Jake but Rosa as well. So I found it a little weird that she didn’t volunteer or say anything about it.

I also found it strange and out of character for Amy to dismiss jigsaw puzzles. The meticulousness of it seems like something she would enjoy, but I also appreciate when they take time to humanize the otherwise sloth like Scully and Hitchcock. It would have been interesting for them to have that in common.

I am curious to where the rest of this season is going to go, it kind of felt like Seamus would have been the biggest obstacle or looming presence throughout the rest of the season.

Other Musings:

  • Charles’ code name being Professor McGonagall is comical, even though I feel like he’s more of a Flitwick.
  • SHAME on Jake for making Kevin watch any Ghostrider films
  • Scully was like a hamster in this episode.
  • Every time I type Seamus Murphy I want to put Shameless Murphy which in some way is probably the point
  • Nick Cage movies mentioned:
    • Face-Off
    • Ghostrider 1&2
    • National Treasure
    • Con Air
    • Leaving Las Vegas
    • Captain Corelli’s Mandolin
    • The Rock
    • Gone in 60 Seconds


“Come in here Kevin. Take your bullet”

“I shot a watermelon once, it was everything you want it to be. I miss Amy”

“Do you know what it means to clap back Raymond? Be. cause. I. do”

“I came alone. Title of my sex tape!”

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×11

This is tied to episode 10’s recap as the aired the same day

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5×11: Team Bigfoot

Captain Holt is chilling at a diner when Seamus Murphy stops by to collect his favor, a permit for a block party. Captain Holt doesn’t want to give it to him because he’s afraid Murphy will use it for something dastardly. Jake and Charles decide to investigate to see what Seamus’ intentions truly are, but first, they must go undercover to get close to Seamus’s nephew, Kyle. Using a bunch of Godfather references that I don’t understand (I’ve never seen The Godfather), Jake and Charles deduct that due to his gullibility, Seamus’s estranged nephew is their best way to figuring out his plan.

Once Jake and Charles get to know him, they realize Kyle’s just a doofus who’s trying his best. However, he does (barely) help them get the information they’re looking for and they’re able to stop Seamus Murphy’s plan, setting Captain Holt free from his grasp. Or so we think.

Jake finds out that Seamus is going to kill Kyle because he knows that his nephew was the reason his planned were thwarted. Jake wants them to protect poor dumb Kyle and because they’re both good people, Captain Holt agrees to put him in protective services. Seamus finds out and promises Captain Holt he’ll return the favor by coming for Kevin.


Two episodes at once, what a blessing! As two individual episodes, these were fine, I think ‘The Favor’ (or as I call it, Team Bigfoot) was the stronger of the two episodes as it brought a lot of things into place, and set up the rest of the season.

Honestly, and maybe it’s because I have to recap these, we didn’t need two episodes this week. ‘Game Night’ could have premiered at the beginning of the midseason, it felt like the writers felt pressured to flesh out Rosa’s storyline right away instead of letting it fall where it may.

I didn’t recap the B-plot of ‘The Favor’ because it was boring, even though I was delighted to see Amy go full nerd. I also didn’t see myself connecting with Gina dealing with being a working new mom, but that might just be because I don’t have (or want) kids. (Captain Holt’s analysis of babies is exactly how I feel.)

I also noticed that the director of this episode was experimenting with implementing improv through this episode, there were several jokes that landed, but were assessed by the cast and the crew a little awkwardly.

I was a little upset that in “Game Night,” Jake and Rosa didn’t get to tell Gina goodbye —even though she came back.

I NEED to know what happened at the Sex Crimes Christmas party!?

God bless Amy, queen of awkward flirting.

Shout out to Captain Holt and Charles for helping Jake birth a brain baby, I’m naming her Briana.

Favorite Quote(s)

“I’m not a child, I need my afternoon nap!”

“All music after Mahler (the Composer) sounds like that (incomprehensible rapping)”

“No! Sherlock wants a present”

“They were not, as the kids would say, awake”

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×10

It’s two for one recap day here at the BGN Brooklyn Nine-Nine recap corner because they aired two episodes at once. It’s also the mid-season finale, so a lot of loose ends are wrapped up.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 5 x10: Straight-splain

We start the episode close to where last week’s ended, except this time, Rosa comes out to the rest of her coworkers. After 50 seconds of answering personal questions (Hitchcock ruins it for everyone), Rosa leaves the meeting. Later she and Jake chat and she admits she hasn’t come out to her parents yet.

He tries to coach her through it (making me think Jake has done this before) but instead, Rosa tries to trick Jake into doing it for her by inviting him to dinner with her parents. But, her parents just end up thinking Rosa is dating Jake. Rosa goes along with it until Amy calls her fiancé exposing their lie.

Instead of questioning what’s going on, her parents just assume she’s Jake’s mistress which is somehow better than her being gay. Frustrated, she comes out and then promptly leaves the restaurant.

The next day, Jake checks in on her and she tells him her parents called after they left, and everything is all good. As an apology for their behavior, Rosa invites Jake to family game night.

Unfortunately, it’s gotten worse. Rosa’s parents think she’s going through a phase and therefore complete dismiss her identity and her sexuality. She goes off on them (because duh) and they get in another fight that Jake gets to pay witness to… again. They both leave, and Rosa’s broken about the whole thing. The next day, her dad comes to talk to her; he’s thought about what she said and wants her to know that he loves her no matter what.

Gina Digs

Meanwhile, the cybercrime unit has moved in downstairs and has taken all the WI-FI with them. Terry and Captain Holt go to ask for some of it back, but since they know nothing about technology or the internet, they get laughed out of the room. Stressed because the internet is getting worse, they reach out to Gina because she’s the only one they know who can scare the cybercrime unit into giving them back their things (I guess Rosa was busy). She refuses because she’s busy (being a mom and starting her own business) and lets them know she won’t be returning to the 99 at all.

Charles and Amy go to drop off Gina’s stuff and try to get her to reconsider quitting, but she turns them down, and they must figure out how to get back the internet on their own. They decide to bribe/seduce their downstairs neighbors with meat, but it doesn’t work. Until it’s revealed that Gina was there to help all along. The crew gets the internet and our favorite Captain’s assistant back.

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×09

It’s the 99th episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and the team spends the entire episode not in the precinct, which I suppose is a reference to the idea that home (or work establishment) is a people, not a place. Basically, THEY are the Nine-Nine.

Lord High Commander of All Justice

The gang heads to LA to attend the funeral of their former captain. While they are there another police officer tells Raymond he’s on the short list for commissioner consideration. The squad (especially Jake) is excited and is willing to do everything they can to make sure he gets there on time. On the way to the airport, they pass Nakatomi Plaza (a building in Die Hard). Jake fanboy spirals, so they stop, allowing him to bask in the glory that is his favorite movie. They go up to take a bunch of (600) pictures but get locked in the building and must wait for the security guard to come back and let them out. When they get to the airport, they find out they missed their flight and all the other flights have been canceled due to a storm in the Midwest.

Through a series of trial and error, they decide to drive cross-country in a really shitty RV. While everyone takes turns driving, Charles tries to figure out (to no avail) who Rosa’s new bae is. A couple of hours into their journey, Jake realizes that the speedometer is broken, and they’ve been driving too slow. The engines can’t handle the high speed, however, and the RV starts smoking. After they all get off so he can check out the issue, it blows up, leaving them stranded.

Luckily for them, there’s a Boyle in each state and Charles’ cousins are about 30 minutes away. They stay the night and try to get some sleep even though they’re next to a stud farm (lots of cow sex, y’all). While they’re staying there Charles discovers that Rosa’s bae is a girl (:: screams in the key of bisexual Rosa Diaz::). She promptly tells Charles to go away and mind his business.

Meanwhile, Jake is still determined to get Captain Holt to this interview, and he finds a way for them to take a cargo plane to New York. They borrow the Boyle’s infinite khaki wardrobe and head toward the airport. On the way there, they get pulled over by the police because someone called in a left a tip that a truck like the one they’re in was smuggling drugs. Them being pulled over causes them to miss their plane (again) and Jake realizes that Captain Holt has been sabotaging them the whole way back to New York.

After some prodding and disbelief, Captain Holt admits to sabotaging their mission because he’s been compromised due to his deal (see episode two) with Seamus Murphy. Jake and Rosa (and me tbh) are touched that Raymond would sacrifice so much for them, but they are still determined to get him to the interview and assure him that they will deal with Seamus Murphy.

Amy, who’s been trying to “play it cool” this entire episode is asked to pick up her high-strung mantel so she can make a plan and get them all back to New York in time for his interview, which she obviously pulls off without a hitch.


This might be my favorite Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode of the season. Each character was their fullest selves and that made the episode so special, which is appropriate as it was the 99th episode (and the 9th episode of the season).

I didn’t recap Charles finding out Rosa is bi separately because it was such a big reveal and I feel like I would probably spend all my time analyzing instead of recapping.

The actress who plays Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz) is bi in real life, and this episode premiered on December 5th, the anniversary of the Bisexual Pride Flag. In an interview with GLAAD, Beatriz commends the writers for reaching out to her and others in the community to make sure they tell this story right, and their effort is made obvious throughout the episode. Rosa coming out is exciting because she’s such a great character with so much depth, and for many members of the LGBTQIA community (including my friend, Allie) it’s great to see themselves represented in a realistic way.

  • The series of “take my picture with it” is my favorite part of the episode, Jake is adorable.
  • The captain made a sex joke, and I am full of joy
  • The title of this recap was going to be Scullyosis but 99diest made more sense in terms of celebrating the show.

Favorite Quote(s)

“Smart, well respected, you smell great. That has nothing to do with the job, just something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Is it sandalwood?”

“And we should get summers off like teachers, let the city go to purge.”

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×08

This is probably the nerdiest Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode yet. I’m not really into fantasy (besides Harry Potter) but I still had a great time watching.

In the B-plot, Amy, Captain Holt, and Boyle are taking a forensics’ class in hopes to get the precinct certified to open a field lab. Amy and Captain Holt are concerned that Boyle will derail the class by talking about his life (it’s how he learns!) but he joins them anyway. Charles tries his best to keep his mouth shut, but he just can’t.

When their instructor gives them the task of making a plaster cast of their classmates’ face, the team chooses Charles to be the silent model. After they finish the task of making the plaster cast, Amy and Captain Holt realize they forgot to lubricate Charles’s face which makes it almost impossible to get the plaster off, without ripping off his face and failing the course.

They lock Charles in a utility closet and have Hitchcock and Scully watch him, but he quickly breaks out. They find him wandering around near the stairs, and realize that he doesn’t care about the course he just wants to learn and help his team. Captain Holt and Amy admit their failure so that their friend can continue to learn.

In the A-plot, Terry’s favorite writer DC Parlov has a manuscript stolen and asks Terry to find it, giving Terry and Jake the chance to be nerdy at a fantasy book convention. In the end, it turns out that DC and his arch nemesis teamed up, stealing their own books to create publicity.

To be completely honest, the main plot of the episode this week wasn’t particularly interesting. It had its moments (which I will highlight below), but for the most part, there wasn’t any suspense in terms of the case that Terry, Rosa, and Jake had to solve. The most interesting parts of the plotline where the setting and Terry. I also had an issue with the scene between Jake, Terry, Miles (the third writer) and his wife — it was portrayed awkwardly and felt unnecessary.

I have never had the chance to go to a convention of any kind (if you are outraged by this please feel free to DM me and we can discuss how you can help me get there), but the book convention looked like everything I’ve imagined but with fewer people.

It was great to have the chance to see Terry as a writer and Jake geeking out about something other than police work. A lot of what Terry goes through in this episode is familiar in the writing process and I’m sure a lot of writers can probably relate (to some extent); so I really appreciate getting to see it.

  • I also LOVE that they show Rosa coming around to the books at the end of the episode when she realizes that there are characters like her in it. Representation matters!
  • This is the first time I realized that the B plot and main plot aren’t on the same timeline.
  • Rosa is me whenever I hear people talk about Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings.
  • The diversity panel would be hilarious if it weren’t so eerily accurate.
  • Jake being a Carley Rae Jepsen fan is amazing.
  • Having “Mask Off” play while Jake, Rosa, and Terry enter in costume is so random and so brilliant.

Favorite Quote(s)

“My back looks like the inside of a spoon”

“She sings in English, that’s rock music”

“One time I slept walked to the M&M store in Times Square”

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×07

This week’s episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine is a meet the parents Thanksgiving type affair, with some detective work sprinkled in, because this is a cop comedy, people.

The great Pie-Napping of 2017

The precinct is getting ready to leave for their respective Thanksgiving plans when Kevin and Captain Holt come back from Saratoga Springs to get their favorite pie (it’s better than a plain scone). Kevin leaves the pie in Captain Holt’s office; the Captain goes to a meeting and when he returns, the pie is gone.

He deduces that either Rosa, Terry, Boyle, Hitchcock or Scully took his pie (essentially the five cast members who are in the precinct) and demands that no one leaves until someone confesses. He then proceeds to apply serious police-like measures to find the culprit (including marking off his desk as a crime scene and interrogating his suspects). Despite his best efforts, Raymond is unable to get a confession, or his pie back.

Because Hitchcock and Scully are too lazy to pull off this heist, Captain Holt asks them to help him find the pie, using their expertise in food. While they search, he interrogates Terry, Rosa, and Boyle again because he discovered they lied about their previous alibies. They all confess to lying, but not to the theft, and Holt is about to really lose it when Hitchcock and Scully reveal they found the pie, gently placed in the garbage can.

Holt reveals what I knew all along, Kevin is the one who trashed the pie (in full honesty he was my second guess, but close enough). Kevin admits that he thinks the pie is gross and he couldn’t take that home for fear of being made fun of, but he didn’t want to hurt Raymond’s feelings, so he tossed it. He also confesses that he enjoys the yearly trips to Saratoga Springs when the trees are skeletal, and they sit in silence. Raymond suggests that they just take the trip anyway, and Kevin is intrigued by this spontaneous idea.

Feliz Drunks-giving

Jake and Amy are preparing to have Thanksgiving with both of their families. Their parents don’t really have anything in common, but the two have done their research and have compiled a list of conversation topics in case things go south.

Things go south real fast, as expected, and the conversation topics are useless. Hoping to make matters better (but truly making them worse), Peraltiago adds alcohol into the mix, and for a moment it works. Everyone is cheery due to their lowered inhibitions until the dads’ competitive nature kicks in and ruins everything. Their fighting causes Jake and Amy to fight and ends with Roger (Jake’s dad) cutting off his thumb. Parents… or good parents, tend to step up when a crisis arises, and that’s exactly what Mr. Santiago does. He uses his cop voice to make sure Roger gets seen right away. Everyone realizes they were acting a fool and makeup, giving us, the awkward dad hug Jake always wanted.


A hysteric Captain Holt is always fun to watch, and this episode doesn’t hold back. I love that they touched on how Rosa’s time behind bars has affected her relationship with her family. I also think it’s weird that it wasn’t brought up when Jake was with his, but I suppose with all that happened it fell by the wayside.

Bradley Whitford (shout out to West Wing) is always a delight, even when he’s playing a reprehensible character.

Hitchcock and Scully’s detective work to deduce that Captain Holt was holding a pie is the best I’ve seen all year, and I’m reading my way through New-52 Batman.

Does anyone on this show say Nikolaj correctly?

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Brooklyn 99 Recap 5×06

This week’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine gives us some wedding planning and unplanning while showing how nefarious horses can be.

Peanut Butter and Boyl-sen-berry  

One of the police horses, Peanut Butter, has gone missing, and it’s at this moment we learn that Charles’s arch enemy is a horse. Charles hates Peanut Butter for stealing all the spotlight when he was awarded a Medal of Honor; which is too bad for him because he and Rosa have been tasked to find him.

After doing some research (aka detective work) they conclude that the horse is being held in a warehouse by one of the officers he worked with. They find Peanut Butter and his kidnapper and, panicked, the kidnapper starts a fire to escape. Rosa goes after the criminal leaving Charles to rescue his enemy. He unties Peanut butter, but the dumb horse doesn’t sense that he’s in danger, so Charles must hit him to get him moving. For some reason, Charles doesn’t let go of the rope attached to Peanut Butter and he gets dragged out of the warehouse by the horse.

A civilian gets a photo of Charles being dragged out of the warehouse looking like a dope, and the news makes it look like Peanut Butter is saving Charles. Charles is furious because he can’t win, and throws a fit. To make matters worse the department isn’t going to correct the story because it’s good press.

Rosa, who has been telling Charles to let go both figuratively and literally (when he was holding the rope) feels bad for her friend constantly being one-upped by a horse and leaks the truth about what happened.

Vulture Bae

Amy and Jake have taken the day to plan the “toitest nups” (a.k.a. tightest nuptials) and to show us how they complete each other. They secure all their vendors (including a cake with the building from Die Hard and flowers wrapped in NY Times crossword puzzle pages), but when they go to put a deposit on their venue (something they should’ve done first) they find out someone swooped in at the last moment and snatched it from them.

And who is the master of taking things you worked hard to get but the Vulture? They find out that the Vulture has somehow fallen in love with someone and plans to marry her on that same day. Peraltiago, as I will now formally address them, goes to find this poor unsuspecting woman, whom they assume is a monster (because who else would want to marry the Vulture) and bully her into changing the date. But when they go to find Vulture bae, she’s a saint. She runs a charity organization that feeds rice to starving children, and she looks like a cherub.

Obviously, they can’t bully this woman or tell her what a trash bag her fiancé is, that is until they realize that the Vulture is still using dating apps (thanks to Hitchcock) despite his commitment. Peraltiago catfishes the Vulture and confronts him with the evidence (unsolicited d**k pics). He tells them they can have the venue if they keep their mouth shut because he honestly and truly loves this woman, but like all men he’s weak. They agree, because what’s the point of hurting her if he’s going to change, but it lasts all of 10 seconds before guilt and doing the right thing gets the best of them and they tell her the truth. Since they can’t get their deposits from the vendors back and the Vulture has decided he’ll throw a women’s pudding wrestling match in lieu of his wedding, Peraltiago decides to get married in a mess hall… on Staten Island.


This episode was a lot of fun. I love reoccurring Brooklyn Nine-Nine gags including the Vulture and all his awfulness. It was great to see how well Jake and Amy really know each even in the smaller ways.

Charles’s nemesis being a horse is the most Charles thing that has ever happened on this show, even though I thought it would be for something food related. Him being angry that he was upstaged felt a little out of character, especially considering he plays second fiddle to Jake all the time, but I do love how this show portrays male-female friendships platonically.

I thoroughly enjoyed Captain Holt psychoanalyzing Terry and his need to be liked by everyone. It’s an issue that has been briefly touched upon in past Thanksgiving episodes but it’s great to see in a work context, it’s also nice to know the other officers have names. Also, the issue of Terry (accidentally) speaking about woman’s body (he wasn’t) is also an interesting thread considering both the general air in Hollywood regarding sexual harassment and actor Terry Crews’ own openness about assault and consent.

Wouldn’t it have been easier to talk the Vulture’s fiancé into having her wedding a different day?

Research burns are the best kind because you are most likely 100% right

Favorite Quote(s)

“Don’t people call you Ray?” “How dear you!?”

“I got every flavor (of ice cream) 200 pints.” “It’s the greatest day of my life!”

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